Mothering Self — a follow up
1000s of miles away from her but not from myself
This letter is connected to Mothering Self, from 2023 💛
Today feels like it answered some questions I asked back then.
Ask yourself the following:
How are you valuing yourself? Are you seeing yourself from a place of limitless potential & admiration?
Are you allowing yourself to grow into more than you can imagine — especially more than any obstacles you (or the mother figure[s] in your life) have overcome?
Here’s how I gave myself care while living abroad and missing my mama:
Rest. It’s ok to lay down somewhere & process your feelings.
Play. Motivate yourself to go out & do something freeing & fun.
Connect. Find the folks who fill your spirit with goodness and see you.
Eat. Seriously, get comfort food in your body & show yourself kindness.
Sleep. Wrap yourself in the warmth of a relaxing night routine & turn on something light to watch. Drift off knowing you did your best to take care of yourself.
I couldn’t detach my body from the bed this morning.
I rolled over a few times, checked my messages & calls, saw nothing from my mother who’s been MIA for a few months now (other than hearing her voice for 15 seconds when I called to wish my brother a happy birthday). A cloud passed over my spirit & mind. I turned on a cute new show (Forever) & pushed the darkness away by enjoying two young people falling in love, without too much confusion or strife.
It was a nice affirmation that love does not need to be earned. True love doesn’t need to hold hands with struggle to be real. It’s as easy as picking up the phone to avoid misunderstandings & yet, without the other person being willing, there’s no need to do all the work to reconcile.
Today’s feelings had space to pass and after some time, I put on my nice dress, packed a bag, & hopped on a moto to go flying off in the wind wherever it took me.
I ended up at the home of a new connection and was welcomed in to join the family meal on the living room floor. That led to small glasses of attaya (traditional minty & earthy, sweet herbal tea), a few hours of lively conversation, and new paths opening to blessed opportunities.
Life was spoken into each other with shares about sisterhood & mutually encouraging our dreams. A few times I had tears in my eyes over what was being birthed from our talk, as she poured so much life into the work I’m doing.
A meeting of minds happened because two women moved from their respective homes —trusting nudges of faith and blessings too big to be coincidences.
Mothering was received and shared. It was a nurturing of spirits, abroad, in an unconventional way.
Things don’t have to look exactly as we want, in order to be just what we need.
I get to sleep restfully — no longer feeling empty, but instead full of good, warm care.
Ki, this was gentle in the way only the truth can be. You didn’t dress the ache up, you just let it sit beside you and breathe. That moment where you wrote, “love does not need to be earned,” I felt that. So many of us are still unlearning that lie. And the image of you being invited into someone else’s home, being fed, being poured into? That’s proof: care will find you. It may not come from where we hoped, but it will come. Thank you for sharing how you mothered yourself with honesty, food, wind, and trust. That’s real love.
I love this. What country did you move to? I traveled to Europe last year for a few months. Southern Spain was my fav, exploring getting a digital nomad visa to move there.